- John: good evening, you alright?
- Martin: what the fuck
- Benedict: oh my gosh hi, I am so sorry are you okay? can I get you anything?
- Sherlock: liar
- Derek: stiles is such a dumbass omg
- Tyler: smh shut up u love him
- Stiles: aaayyyyyy
- Dylan: aayyyyy lmao
- Dean: I secretly love castiel
- Jensen: I openly love misha
- Castiel: I am castiel, angel of the lord
- Misha: lmao yeah okay did u see this video of me cooking with my son
- Captain Jack: I like dick
- John: I like dick
- Matt: Its crazy how we finish eachothers-
- Doctor: saNDWICHES
- Matt: THATS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY
- Tony Stark: I'm Iron Man
- Robert Downey junior: No, I'm Iron Man
OMG MY 17 YEAR OLD COUSIN HAS A BUNCH OF HIS FRIENDS OVER RIGHT NOW AND I COULD HEAR THEM LISTENING TO FERGALICIOUS AND SINGING SO I BANGED ON THE WALL AND SHOUTED “I CAN HEAR YOU GUYS” AND THEN ONE OF THEM GOES “SHIT WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SHE WAS HOME” AND THEN ANOTHER ONE WAS LIKE “NO ITS A PART OF OUR VIDEO GAME” AND THEN ANOTHER ONE SHOUTS “DUDE WHY THE FUCK WOULD FERGALICIOUS BE IN A VIDEO GAME” IM CRYING
textbooks attempting to be racially diverse will always be the funniest thing
chow liung pao and shyniqua went to the supermarket
Technically Thor wasn’t even part of the avengers initiative. He just showed up to the party.
Oh my god that is the cutest thing ever
If I dont respond to your insult it means what i wanted to say was too mean and I decided to let you live
Europe according to penis size
YEAH, OKAY NOOOO, STOP THIS FRANCE, IT’S PENIS, NOT THE EIFFEL
It took me awhile to work out that this was in centimeters
I was like what the fuck Europe
how was this study carried out though, that’s the real story
"LET US MEASURE YOUR WILLY GOOD SIR!
yeah but what if there was a kind of monster that had two heads but one body and the heads had conflicting gender identities. how would they work that out i wonder
you just described Zak and Wheezie from Dragon tails
Tiny baby python got confused about what sort of mouse to catch.
Sometimes i pick the grass from my neighbors yerd and put it in my own so i? the grass greener oh the other side? No anymore