"What is that, some kind of stone, like a heating stone? An odd pattern, it kind of looks like—
is that a goddamn condom full of spaghetti
"yo pass me the weed",
I’ve eaten this before and it’s so gross
wow seaweed’s got some haters
i just told my mom i died at birth and i’ve been a ghost this entire time just growing and manifesting into the daughter she’d lost
and she’s just like
well please go to the light because i am tired of your shit
angelina jolie’s daughter
and gwen stefani’s son
both so cute
Parenting done right
ugh. this is so wrong. how can you support someone letting their kid wear socks on grass. do you know how hard it is to wash those stains out?
I thought I was going to have to yell at someone for being a close minded asswipe but that was the biggest plot twist of my life.
Oh my god yes. Thank you lol
The ultimate dad joke compilation
sure everyone says theyre excited about ‘spirit week’ but the minute i awaken a few ancient spirits and raise the dead suddenly im a ‘witch’ and ‘ruining homecoming’
I was volunteering at a booksale when I ran across this and just…
Submitted to me by mrsrhettbutler
uh…those arms…you’re all thinking that, right…?
i feel like we’re all just kind of reblogging it in a circle and looking at each other uneasily like, waiting for someone to finally give in and yell it out in the reply chain
you held out as long as you could, i’m sure.
Edward Dildo-armsDOMO ARIGATO FISTO ROBOTO
I SPAT OUT MY WATER ON THE LAST COMMENT FUCK
"This leaves men confused and unable to pigeonhole you. What they are forced to do instead is… take you seriously."
Reblog every time.
i will ALWAYS reblog this. I feel powerful just reading this photoset lol
Disney Channel Halloween episodes
video game: *autosaves at a weird/out of place/oddly random time*
me: uh oh
video game: *conveniently gives you lots of health kits and ammo*
video game: *suddenly goes uncharacteristically silent*
video game: *protagonist relives happy memories nearly the end of the game*
me: here it comes
YOU ARE DOING MAGIC HOMEWORK FOR YOUR MAGIC CLASSES AT YOUR MAGIC SCHOOL WITH YOUR MAGIC FRIENDS.
I WOULD GLADLY TRADE PLACES WITH YOU. WANNA DO MY MUGGLE HOMEWORK?
When you think about it, this explains Hermione.
but Harry grew up with a muggle family
yes but harry’s a little shit
I was in love with this boy once so I started to beat him up everyday but people thought we were rough housing bc boys can’t like each other and one day I was like “dude I like you a lot but I can’t cope with my feelings so I beat you up im sorry” and he was like “dude that’s really chill we can hold hands if you want??? Btw you have really good punches.” And that’s the story of how I had my first boyfriend
that was wild from start to finish